The Science of Influence

When you understand people’s representational systems you are more likely to influence them.

Visual People

Visual people memorise by seeing pictures and are less distracted by noise. Often they have trouble remembering and are bored by long verbal instructions because their mind wanders. They are interested in how the outcome looks.

  • I see
  • Let me look at it first
  • What’s your view
  • It appears
  • It suddenly dawn on me
  • Let me reveal
  • I can’t envision it
  • Let me illuminate
  • It’s very clear
  • It’s a bit foggy
  • You need to be more focused
  • It’s a bit hazy
  • Crystal clear
  • Let me picture the outcome

Auditory People

Auditory people are typically distracted by noise. They can repeat things back to you easily and learn by listening. They like music and like to talk on the phone. The tone of voice and the words used can be important.

  • I hear what your saying
  • Listen to me
  • Sounds like a good idea
  • Make music today
  • Harmonise the situation
  • Tune in/Tune out
  • Be all ears
  • It rings a bell
  • Silence is preferred
  • I want to be heard
  • I can’t resonate
  • Are you deaf
  • An unusual degree of dissonance
  • Question your proposal
  • Unhearing stakeholders

Kinaesthetic People

Kinaesthetic people often talk slowly and you can hear them breathe when they talk. They respond to physical rewards and touching. They memorise by doing or walking through something. They will be interested in a project that feels right or gives them a gut feeling.

  • I feel great
  • Let touch base
  • Good grasp of facts
  • Get hold of that report
  • Slip through procurement
  • It might catch on
  • Tap into resources
  • Make contact
  • Throw out
  • Turn around failing unit
  • Hard work
  • Unfeeling colleague
  • Concrete workforce
  • Scrape through
  • Get a handle
  • Solid as a brick

Auditory Digital

Auditory Digital people spend a fair amount of time talking to themselves, They memorise by steps, procedures and sequences. They will want to know that the project makes sense. They can sometimes also exhibit characteristics of the other representational systems.

  • Sense
  • Experience
  • Think
  • learn
  • Process
  • Decide
  • Motivate
  • Consider
  • Change
  • Perceive
  • Insensitive
  • Distinct
  • Conceive
  • Know

Consider the following:

Talking

  • The person groups words
  • Deliberately uses phrases
  • Likes to interrupt
  • Uses long complicated sentences

Processing patterns

  • Quickly with a minimum of detail
  • Will let you know unconsciously¬†when they understand by changing the subject
  • Prefers extensive detail
  • Will not give an indication that they understand or know the answer unless you ask

Decision making

  • Abstract
  • Speculate, takes risk
  • Likes specifics
  • Willing to invest

Tone of voice for closing a negotiation

  • Slightly fast and excited
  • Thoughtful, considerate and slow

Do you want more strategies to influence people in your day to day life? Use connector words in the right way.