In this article, I will explain the basic techniques used NLP and how to use NLP to negotiate with tricky suppliers or stakeholders.
Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) is the nervous system in which we process our five senses, the language and nonverbal communications where we derive meaning and our neural programming.
This means that an NLP is powerful, it’s so powerful that if its used in the wrong way it can be viewed as being manipulative so be careful in how you apply NLP.
There are many benefits of using NLP and we want to show you how it can be used to build rapid rapport.
Our mind interprets our experience via five senses
- Visual- what we see
- Auditory- What we hear
- Kinaesthetic- What we feel
- Oflactory- What we smell
- Gustatory- What we taste
When we use NLP we do so to improve our awareness and control of oneself and better appreciate that our model of the world is our own and that other people are programmed differently.
NLP believes we all operate by running a programme i.e. self-communication to achieve our specific and desired outcomes.
When we appreciate other people’s world we begin to develop more empathy and co-operation.
In order to develop rapport and emotional connection you need to do the following:
- Know what outcome you want to achieve
Visualise the outcome that you would like to achieve. Without a goal or conscious outcome, you will drift, therefore be specific about what you want. Worry about how you will achieve it later.
- Have sufficient sensory acuity or awareness
Be aware of what is going on around you and how people react to you, watch for micro movements or changes.
- Take Action.
Be flexible. If your behavior is not moving you towards your goal then it is you who needs to change. When negotiation decide when you are willing to make trades and concessions
- Operate from a physically strong position.
Behave like you already have success, your body language gives away signs of whether if you feel strong or weak, people believe in leaders so start acting like one today.
- State things in the positive and be succinct.
Ask what specifically what do you want? Specify the outcome, what will you hear, feel, see etc.
- What is rapport?
Rapport does not mean liking someone. It is established by matching and mirroring. When we communicate 7% is the words we use, 38% the tone of our voice, 55% our body language. Rapport is a process of responsiveness.
- Figure out what the persons representation system is and mirror them
- Visual- memorise by seeing pictures less distracted by noise
- Auditory- easily distracted by noise, like music and like talking
- Kinesthetic- talk slowly and breathy, respond to touching and like to go with their gut feeling
- Auditory digital- Internal conversation, memorize steps by procedures and sequence, can also exhibit the above rep systems
- The right language…
V- If I could show you an attractive way in which you could xxx potential value or benefit you would at least want to look at it wouldn’t you?
A- If I could tell you a way in which you could benefit you would at least want to hear about it wouldn’t you?
K- If I could help you get a hold of x in which you could benefit, you would at least get a feel for it wouldn’t you?
AD- If you could ask yourself whether if its beneficial for x, you would at least have a think about it wouldn’t you?
- Using the right tone
When you ask a question you raise your tone at the end of question When you make a statement, you keep your tone level When you make a command, you lower your tone.
- Eye Pattern
When you are looking at the person depending on which way their eyes move, this is a good indicator for reading their internal representation
VC= visual construct (constructing an image)
VR= Visual recall (remembering an image)
AC= Auditory Constructed (constructing a sound)
AR= Auditory Recall (remembering a sound)
K- Kinesthetic = Accessing feelings
AD= Auditory Digital ( talking to oneself)
If you need to develop a negotiation plan find it here and combine it with the tips on how to use NLP to negotiate.